


While You Were Sleeping

by DestielTheShipOfDreams



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas finds out that Dean loves him, Fix-It, Jack being Jack, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 16:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14336895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestielTheShipOfDreams/pseuds/DestielTheShipOfDreams
Summary: Cas and Jack have a candid conversation in which Jack casually reveals all the things Cas hasn't yet been informed of about his period of death. Cas is somehow shocked by the obvious conclusion that Dean loves him.Takes place at an indeterminate time in the future when they have Jack back.





	While You Were Sleeping

**Author's Note:**

> Things are looking exciting on the show! So I doubt a version this conversation will really have a chance to take place by end of season. Whatever, I just wanted to write it for catharsis.

Jack stared out at the rainy parking lot, eyes serious and pensive as usual. It was quiet in the stuffy little room, water drumming onto the roof the only sound to be heard. Rhythmic. Castiel hesitated before sitting down at the small motel room table beside the young nephilim, not wanting to disturb any peace but feeling too antsy to just keep company with his own thoughts.

 

“I’m sure they’ll be back soon,” he ventured in barely more than a murmur. Jack turned that wise yet child-like gaze onto the angel and tilted his head. Castiel lacked a lot of the self-awareness most humans possess, but he wasn’t totally oblivious. He knew that Jack was mimicking Castiel’s mannerisms in half his own movements.

 

“I know,” the younger being replied after a beat. “I’m not worried. I trust them to handle this right.”

 

Castiel nodded slowly. “Yes. Well… good.”

 

He watched Jack watch the rain for several minutes, trying not to fidget. Where had all his patience gone? He turned into such a human when he was worried. And he was worried, even if Jack wasn’t. Dean and Sam had gone to retrieve spell ingredients to increase the warding keeping Jack safe, with Castiel left to guard their charge in the meantime. What if the brothers ran into some trouble-

 

“Perhaps it would take your mind off of Sam and Dean if you spoke to me about something else, Castiel,” Jack piped up, not looking across at the angel. Castiel blinked at him.

 

“What should I speak to you about?” he responded, taking his own turn to tilt his head quizzically. Jack shrugged, still staring out the window.

 

“Is there anything you’ve been wanting to talk to me about?”

 

Castiel sat up straighter, because… yes. There’d been something simmering in the back of his mind since getting Jack back, something big that he’d repeatedly shoved aside. Out of fear, out of a lack of time or opportunity or energy, out of a long-established habit of putting his own concerns last. He cleared his throat and scooted his chair a little closer to Jack’s.

 

“Actually, Jack, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask,” Castiel began, before pausing. “It’s… I don’t… I don’t understand why I’m here. What is my role ? I can’t see what difference I’ve made that required my resurrection.”

 

Jack slowly turned his gaze onto Castiel, a furrow between his brows and confusion in the shape of his mouth. Castiel took a deep breath and stated it plainly.

 

“Jack, why did you bring me back?”

 

Jack leaned forward, bringing his hands to rest clasped atop the table. He considered them for a moment, lips pursed, before replying.

 

“We needed you.”

 

“Right, but for what?”

 

Jack shook his head. “I don’t understand what you mean. You were needed, so I responded to that and I brought you back.”

 

Castiel’s attention was caught by the phrasing; he tried a different tack, hoping to make some sense of Jack’s cryptic explanation. “Needed by who?”

 

Jack looked at him quizzically, as though it was obvious. “All of us. But mostly, Dean.”

 

Castiel blinked and then blinked again, taken aback and very puzzled. “Dean?”

 

The nephilim inclined his head. “Yes, Dean. After I was born and Sam and Dean took me in, it was only Sam who actually wanted me there. Dean… well, at the time I think he hated me. He blamed me for your death.”

 

Castiel swallowed. “What?”

 

“He blamed me for your death.”

 

It took Castiel a moment to understand that Jack had taken him literally. “No, I heard you. I just… Dean was very angry with you?”

 

Jack grimaced. “I think he was very angry in general. He was… well, considering how he’s been since your return, it’s clear to me now that Dean was an emotional wreck when I first knew him. He scared me. I knew from Sam’s treatment of me that Sam was good and kind, and I could see that Sam was worried about Dean, so I had some idea that Dean wasn’t acting like he usually might. I wanted to know more about Dean. A few things already seemed clear to me about him.”

 

Castiel’s mind was spinning, but he nodded sharply for Jack to continue when the boy paused. Jack acquiesced, shifting forward in his chair, gesturing with his hands as he became more involved in recalling and retelling his memories.

 

“One, that he was really, really mad at me. Two, that he had a close relationship with Sam and that he loved Sam, even when he was angry with him. Three, he loved you very much, but losing you was destroying him and making him want to destroy things around him; primarily, me. I was-”

 

“No,” Castiel cut in, loudly and quite involuntarily. Jack stopped and gave him a polite, questioning look. Castiel’s breath hitched but he forced himself to suppress his instinctive denial of a concept as ridiculous as Dean loving him that much. He should let Jack finish.

 

“Sorry,” he said hoarsely. “Carry on.”

 

Jack was still eyeing him, but he kept talking as thought he hadn’t been interrupted. “I wanted to get Dean to like me, not just to protect myself but also to make things better for Sam… and to maybe be able to stay with them. I didn’t want to be on my own. Sam was kind to me.”

 

There was a smile under those words, a familial fondness that Castiel might have envied if he hadn’t been so distracted. Jack kept talking.

 

“I suppose I also wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t a monster like Dean said I was. If I could make Dean less angry with me… help him… then maybe I could stay good. I just wasn’t sure how to do it. I wished that you were there with me, to guide me like you said you would be. I missed you. Maybe that’s where it started. But what I remember making me do it was Dean’s longing.”

 

Castiel’s fists were clenched in his lap. He cleared his throat. “His… longing?”

 

“Yes,” Jack said simply. “It was so sharp and sad. And full of… regret, I think. Of course, I had no way of knowing it was for you, but Dean’s grief for you was very clear. When he spoke about you he was very raw. Broken. Anyway, I thought his longing had to be for you before the fight, but the fight made me sure.”

 

Castiel felt alarmingly physically affected by what he was hearing. Light-headed, numb-lipped, shaky. “Fight?”

 

“Yes. Sam and Dean had an argument. I was listening. Dean was so, so angry, about everything, but especially about me. Sam was trying to defend me, and he was getting angry too. I could feel that he was hurt by Dean’s attitude, his accusations. And he was taking on Dean’s pain as his own. That made me want to help Dean even more; not just to protect or prove myself, but to save Sam.”

 

Jack paused and frowned, caught up in remembering. “Then Sam mentioned you. It was like… like pricking a balloon, but instead of releasing harmless air it released Dean’s longing. Dean was shouting about you and I could feel that pain and yearning cutting into him… and I knew for sure that it was about you. It made me want you there to help him, to stop his pain, and Sam’s, and to help me too. So I closed my eyes and focused on wanting you alive again, to put Dean back together, because that would make everything much better. I didn’t think it would work. But it did, and I’m really glad it did.”

 

Castiel sat in utter shock, speechless after Jack’s matter-of-fact explanation. Half a minute went by before Jack said his name uncertainly, reaching out to touch the angel’s arm. Castiel startled, jerking and blinking.

 

“He loves me,” he blurted out involuntarily. His eyes went wide immediately after the words left his mouth and he started to shake his head in denial of his own statement, but Jack gave an uncertain laugh.

 

“Well, of course,” he said cautiously, clearly baffled by Castiel’s wild-eyed look. “That’s pretty obvious. You only have to look at his grief at your loss compared with his happiness at your return. His feelings for you seem to be very intense.”

 

“I didn’t know about the grief part,” Castiel said in a slightly snippish voice. He shifted in his chair, agitated. “I… it’s just…”

 

Both beings froze at that moment; several seconds later, the door swung open to admit Sam and Dean, the latter carrying a bag full of takeaway food.

 

“Dinner is served!” Dean announced with a grin, swinging the bag happily. Sam, brandishing a cardboard box presumably full of magical ingredients, shot a quelling glance back at his brother.

 

“We should set this up first, Dean.”

 

“Come on, there’s only enough work there for two people and I gotta eat. Cas doesn’t eat. You can help Sam with that, can’t you, Cas?”

 

Cas took a deep breath and stood up, looking much calmer and steadier than he felt. “Actually, Dean, perhaps Jack could assist Sam. I’d like to speak with you in the other room, if that’s alright.”

 

Dean looked mildly confused and then worried, but he nodded slowly and shrugged.

 

“Sure, OK. I’ll bring the food, though.”

 

Castiel watched Dean unpack his dinner, ignoring Sam’s curious expression. The elder Winchester went to the door and opened it, pausing and raising an eyebrow at Castiel.

 

“Cas? You coming?”

 

Castiel swallowed. He had no idea what he was planning to say to Dean, or whether he’d have the courage to say anything at all. Had that changed now? It felt like, through that one conversation with Jack, everything had changed in his own mind. But it was the conversation he might be about to have with Dean that could hold the real power. Could alter his whole existence.

 

Castiel squared his shoulders, nodded and stepped after Dean. “Of course.”


End file.
